Sunday, August 29, 2010

There's a Rooster in 'da Coop!

I wanna talk about Gord McClure who I affectionately refer to as Gord McCluck. He's a chicken farmer from the west side of Caledon who somehow managed to get himself elected to Caledon council four years ago. During that four years he sat next to our mayoral wannabe cupcake and he lapped up all her attentions. She fed him candy, she giggled at him, batted her eyes and in her ever so adroit and subliminal way she often manipulated him for vote support. Now you can't take that away from her because sometimes a girl just has to do what a girl has to do to get her votes. A sentiment, I'm quite sure that our Ward 5 Regional Candidate Amanda Squire also subscribes to.

I'm pretty sure I'm not on Gord's Christmas card list as I'm not exactly one of his favorite people. It's funny to be able to visibly see the beads of sweat form along his brow when I get starting to chatter at him. I make him nervous and I just love every single minute of it. I've had my issues with some of Gord's decision making and I've let him know it. Not to mention one of his biggest gaffes of publicly disclosing in camera information for which he had his wrists thoroughly slapped. There were many who called for his head on a platter at that time. He's one of the councillor's that I've been so hopeful that when this election rolled around that we'll have seen the backside of. The south western side of Caledon has its own plethora of issues and they, much like Bolton, need strong, resolute, well informed leadership. He is just not that leader.

Ok, so here's the thing. I was out last week at an event in support of Marolyn Morrison and up struts Gord, all puffed out like a big 'ol rooster, all a smiling and just full of himself. He says to me " opponent withdrew his candidacy this morning...." followed with a grin like the Cheshire cat who just swallowed the canary. I shook my head at him and said "Yeah, Dave Lyons withdrew because his Father, John, is dying so it makes me wonder why you are all so smiley and giddy." Nice sentiment on your part Gord, real heart warmer you are. You are gloating about this withdrawal while the Lyons family are holding vigil on their Father's life. Do you think you could have at least shown a small modicum of class and respect to the Lyons family. Oh no, out comes the gloat. This Rooster needs to have his cox comb straightened out but real quick.I poke him and say "ya know Gord, I told Dave Lyons that even if he just left his name on the ballot, never even sent out a flyer, never posted a sign, never knocked a door, he'd still beat you." Gord's smile dropped quicker than if I had just heaved a twenty pound bag of potatoes off the CN Tower. "No he wouldn't have!" Gord replied in a pouty way. I resolutely responded"Oh yeah, he would have." I can see the glistening on his forehead...more beads of sweat as his face reddens. Which brings me to my next and most important question for Councillor Gordo McCluck.

If this is a gathering for support of Marolyn Morrison's re-election then what the heck was he doing there? It's blatantly obvious that during this past term he's been the mayoral wannabe's go to man for support. Anything to break those usual 7-2 vote scenarios. Amazing what a bit of eyelash batting and a desk drawer full of Werther's candy can get you these days. I'm hoping that at least he held out for the chocolate covered Werther's.

So I just came right out and asked him...."Gord...what are you doing here? One would assume that you'd be batting for the other's the deal Councillor McCluck?" Oh here come those beads of sweat and a lot of stuttering. Ok peeps, are you ready for this response because I sure wasn't. Here's what the smug 'ol Rooster had to say.

Well actually Annette has disappointed me on a few things, I counted on her for some support and she wasn't there for me so I've decided I'm not supporting her for Mayor." I turned to the the couple standing next to me and said "ok, you heard that too....Councillor McClure is not supporting Ms. Grove's in her bid for a mayoral seat." Holy chicken wings Batman! The Rooster tells da 'Coop that his little candy Pez dispenser ain't his mayoral pick. I just love days like this.

The sour soother of all of this is that this silly old Rooster is going to waltz back in to office uncontested unless someone puts their name in within the next week and a half. I'm quite sure that Gord McCluck is just checking the days off his calendar. This is a sad, sad day for the residents of Ward 2. Is there anyone over there on the west side paying attention any of this? All the election drama continues.

On a more sombre note, I'd like to extend my personal condolences to the Lyons family and especially the lovely Jewel, John's wife. Dave, I know you are smarting big time right now and I know your heart is broken. Please know that you and Judy, along with the whole Lyons clan have a community behind you that love and respect you very much. We are sending you all of our strength and faith over this next little while.

I know I've titled this column "There's A Rooster in 'da Coop" and I for the most part don't take requests but I've decided that this column should really be referred to as "Play Misty for me". So to the the Lyons family, this one's for you.

John Hamilton Lyons - December 29, 1925 - August 25, 2010 Rest in Peace


  1. Condolences to the Lyons family.

  2. I heard a word the other day that suits Mr. McClure perfectly: Stumblebum